Memories

Memories

I remember her sitting beside me. Her wavy hair getting in the way for me to see her face clearly. These days, I only remember glimpses of what happened, a snapshot of that certain moment. I remember her smiling. Whatever we’re talking about, it must’ve been about her special someone ’cause she’s blushing a bit.

I can’t really remember where it happened. In the pantry maybe, or in the jeepney we’re riding home. We used to go home together because we’re on the same way but we didn’t do it a lot ’cause I’m afraid of getting attached.

You see, friendship is still a relationship and in every relationship there will always be expectations. I know what I can do for someone, specially for friends, and sometimes that makes me dumb. I hate doing dumb things for worthless people just because of some stupid reason. I’ve been there.

The sad part is I can’t remember the conversations anymore. All I know is we’re so close once that we get to talk about personal things.

She had this reputation with men. A reputation that no woman would like to be attributed to. And it’s not just with one man. There’s several of them. I never believed any of it because I trust her.

I saw how fragile she is though she’s keeping this tough act in front of everyone. She said she doesn’t care about what they’re saying, she knows the truth. She can repeat that all day but I can feel how bothered she is.

That’s one thing I love about her. She knows her weakness and she’s doing what she can to assess herself, to avoid any past mistakes and to improve herself.

It’s been a little more than three years since the last time I saw her and I don’t know if she’s still working in the same industry where we met but wherever she is, I know she’ll bloom in her own way.

Kilay Is Life

Alas onse ng sabado noon, kakasakay ko lang ng jeep nang may sumakay ding isang estudyante. Medyo chubby sya, hanggang baywang ang buhok at pang-rakista ang pormahan; black knitted shirt, tokong na maong at boots. Isa sa pinaka-una kong napansin sa kanya ay yung kilay nya. Usong-uso ngayon ang ‘kilay is life’ at mukhang yun din ang tina-try i.achieve ni Ate Girl to the point na nanglalaban na. Tipong di pa sya galit, mukha nanagad syang galit. Sinubukan kong iwasan na tignan sya kaso may napansin ulit ako. Akala ko may something sa bibig nya pero naka-brace pala sya at medyo hirap i.close yung labi.

Paglampas ng Buting, may sumakay na kakilala nya na kinalabit at kinausap sya. Doon ko nakita yung ngiti nya, ang ganda nya pala. Parang nagliliwanag yung buong mukha nya kapag nakangiti sya, she even have dimples. Confirmed, ‘di bagay yung kilay nya sa kanya. May kamukha syang batang artista ng GMA dati eh kaso di ko na maalala yung pangalan.

Sana next time, she’ll tone down her eyebrows, she’s more beautiful that way.

Naranasan mo na ba?

Naranasan mo na ba na kabisado mo ang sapatos ng mga tao sa paligid mo ng hindi sila tinitignan kasi nag-aalangan kang tignan sila sa mukha?

Naranasan mo na ba na pakiramdam mo palagi kang pinag-uusapan? ‘Yung  para kang takot lagi na baka may nakamasid syo?

Naranasan mo na bang papaniwalain ang sarili mo sa isang bagay para lang maging mas okay ang emotional state mo kasi nasa edge ka na? Continue reading “Naranasan mo na ba?”

Kandila

Kandila

Gaya ng kandilang sinindihan sa dilim, ikaw ay inilalagay sa isang sitwasyon kung saan ka dapat magsabog ng liwanag. Marami mang pagsubok na susubukang patayin ang apoy mo, may mga kamay namang handang salagin ang hangin sa paligid masiguro lang na patuloy kang mag-aalab.

Kung nasaan ka man ngayon sa buhay mo, isipin mo lagi na one way or another ikaw ay nagsisilbing liwanag para sa iba. Napupuno man ng kadiliman ang paligid mo, ang isip o damdamin mo, ‘wag kang mapagod na hanapin at alalahanin ang dahilan ng kung bakit ka nandyan sa lugar na yan at ang dahilan minsan mong pagliwanag.

Dark Days

I’m in that point again where everything is hopeless and useless. Some said it’s postpartum depression, I think it’s just “regular” depression. I had these moods and thoughts since grade school.

Writing and blogging is one of the ways where I release tension. This is where I write whatever I want to say and it’s been a bad habit that  I usually stay away from my blog ’til I’m in my “happy” mood again.  I’ll change that from now on. Anyways, I’ll still be writing stuff and put it in Private.

Hope this ends soon.

Guilt

The other day you said you can’t sleep because you feel guilty. I thought you’re guilty because you’re hurting me, but I was wrong.

You’re guilty because of what you did to her. I don’t really understand that part but I think what you mean to say was you’re guilty because you involved her in whatever plan you have. My heart got pierced and since then, it’s been hurting like hell.

Well, who cares? At least you’re not bored anymore. And at least, after years of numbness, I can finally feel something again eventhough it’s pain.

Hello 2018!

Hello 2018!

Ang ganda ng simula ng 2018 ko 😀

Nung New Year’s Eve, nagka-usap kami nila kuya thru video call sa messenger and we had this picture na kumpleto kaming tatlo 😀

at least kahit sa video call lang nakumpleto kaming tatlo 😂

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@mrsacbc) on

 

And here are some pictures while waiting for midnight 🙂

Continue reading “Hello 2018!”

Star Wars : The Last Jedi

Star Wars : The Last Jedi

Few days ago, Globe reached out to my husband and they included us in the advanced screening of the newest Star Wars movie that’s set to premiere in the Philippine cinemas on December 15. Earlier, we watched Star Wars: The Last Jedi and for someone who’s not really a fan, the only word that can describe is “satisfying” (except for one thing).

 

Okay, this is the first (and could be the last) time I attended an advanced screening so I don’t really know what to expect. We arrived at Central Square around half past 2. We asked the lady sitting in front of Cinema 4 and she said we need to wait for the Globe representative who will arrive at 4PM Continue reading “Star Wars : The Last Jedi”

For F,

Dahil G na G ka naman kapag pinag-uusapan ka, pa-isa lang.

Pare-pareho naman kayong ganyan, deny deny sa una tapos totoo naman pala. Kung meron nga, may magagawa ba kami?

Continue reading “For F,”

Balance of Dark and Light

Balance of Dark and Light

for the nth time

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@mrsacbc) on

November 28, I somehow started is ‘journey’ again wherein I focus more on the path (which I haven’t done for the last five years). I want to reconnect to it because for the past three years, I honest feel like I’m lost somewhere and I can’t find the ‘path’.

Continue reading “Balance of Dark and Light”