Category: Something Else

His Engagement

His Engagement

It was their 7th anniversary. He was wearing a grey long sleeves polo that accentuates his masculinity while she’s wearing an old rose halter dress that shows her every curve. They went to a studio where they had their photos taken as a memorial of their seventh year.

After their little photo shoot, they went to the restaurant where he made reservation for their dinner. Unknown to her, that was extra special. The restaurant staff are not only gathered to greet them a happy anniversary, they’re there to take and videos as he finally asked ‘the’ question.

I felt my chest aching a bit as I watched him nervously held her hand before reaching for the box inside his pants and kneeled down while all the restaurant staff around them are very excited. She wiped her tears graciously and… that’s when I closed the Facebook tab and shut down my laptop. I can’t watch beyond that. I just can’t.

I had enough internet for now and it’s only 4 in the afternoon.

That’s one thing that we all love about Facebook. Stalking has never been this easy, right ladies? Nah, just kidding.

Well, who’s that guy anyway? Let me take you back twelve years ago. The year was 2006 and I was in my senior year.

High school, like my grade school years, is pretty boring and normal. Like really, no lates, few absences, all school work, being part of the top, that’s how it is since first grade. The only ‘action’ I’m getting was sleeping in the class, getting called by the teacher to recite and still get it right.

So, going back to that guy. He is the guy I tried really hard not to like. Why? Because he is my friend. Some of you would think it’s O.K. to like him, some of you would say it’s a good decision to keep things platonic. Well, aside from him being my friend, I also don’t like the idea of ME loving someone who’s not interested. One-sided shit is not my thing. I am not prepared for that.

It started when we’re in sophomore. We used to hang out in their house with our other friends, playing video games where they let me win sometimes or we sometimes go biking around the neighborhood. At first, it’s just a simple crush. Admiring a person for his physical appearance is easy but as we spend more time together, I slowly started liking his personality too.

Senior year was a memorable year too. We’re in the same class again but this time, I was in a relationship with a guy from a different class. I know we can’t be together so I said yes to a guy who’s a bit obsessed with me.

We sit on the same row so he usually cover me up whenever I sleep in class. He made my electronics project and I did his project for home economics.

Senior ball is the final highlight of our high school life. As expected, my date for that night was my boyfriend but that didn’t stop me from dancing with all of my guy friends. We danced to (upbeat songs) ’til (sweet song) started playing. At first I thought my boyfriend would come and dance with me but instead, he came.

We danced playfully at first, making weird dance moves on such a slow, sweet song. In the middle of the song, he turned serious and hugged me a bit. “You look so happy now. I hope it stays that way” he said. He sounded so serious that I even joked about it. It’s unusual for him to act like that.

College years, we drifted part. We studied in different schools with different courses. We started having our own lives and before I knew it, we’re already graduating. A lot of things happened. I’m single for two years and I thought he is too. I thought I can finally confess to him, ’cause that time, I’m ready for it. I’m prepared to get dumped, to be honest.

That’s when I saw it on Facebook. Yeah, thanks Facebook for saving me from humiliation. His post says “She said yes, FINALLY!” I didn’t need to say it face to face huh? Universe already telling me to quit it, so I did. I didn’t attend the reunion where I’m supposed to confess my feelings. Good thing because he brought his girlfriend.

Now this. His engagement. Like, what the actual fuck? At least he’s happy, right?

 

(P.S. Posts published under #SaveLiterature are works of fiction.)

Letters For Tiny Hooman #1

Letters For Tiny Hooman #1

I wanna meet someone/anyone right now. But I don’t wanna disturb my friends..

Also thinking if I should just cry and smoke instead jahahh

First of all girl, I told you before that I’m just here. I’m waiting for you to reach out (because I reached out to you before and you declined, like I’m the last person you’ll ever talk to) but you never did.

At first, I thought it’s OK since you have friends that you actually wanna talk to. Like, I know you don’t consider me as a friend and I don’t wanna insist a one-sided friendship. Disregard what happened before. Forget it. I can confidently say that I’ve recovered from that now and I’m totally fine now. I hope you can put that behind too.

I honestly want to be your friend, you know.

Just try it. Try me.

Ancestry

Ancestry

This is weird. Maybe this already happened to some of you but that was the first time it happened to me.

It happened around seven to eight years ago when I was studying Wicca. I was reading Scott Cunningham’s Spell Craft and one of the simplest crafts there is the “God’s Eye”. I used a pair barbecue sticks and yarns ( purple and blue ). During the time that I am making it, all I think of is “Please show me what I must see”. I started making it in the afternoon after school, then continued ’til before bedtime. Right after I tie it, I suddenly feel exhausted and sleepy. I placed it under my pillow, hoping to get any message through my dream.

A few moments after I lay down, I started dreaming. Continue reading “Ancestry”

Memories

Memories

I remember her sitting beside me. Her wavy hair getting in the way for me to see her face clearly. These days, I only remember glimpses of what happened, a snapshot of that certain moment. I remember her smiling. Whatever we’re talking about, it must’ve been about her special someone ’cause she’s blushing a bit.

I can’t really remember where it happened. In the pantry maybe, or in the jeepney we’re riding home. We used to go home together because we’re on the same way but we didn’t do it a lot ’cause I’m afraid of getting attached.

You see, friendship is still a relationship and in every relationship there will always be expectations. I know what I can do for someone, specially for friends, and sometimes that makes me dumb. I hate doing dumb things for worthless people just because of some stupid reason. I’ve been there.

Continue reading “Memories”

Kilay Is Life

Alas onse ng sabado noon, kakasakay ko lang ng jeep nang may sumakay ding isang estudyante. Medyo chubby sya, hanggang baywang ang buhok at pang-rakista ang pormahan; black knitted shirt, tokong na maong at boots. Isa sa pinaka-una kong napansin sa kanya ay yung kilay nya. Usong-uso ngayon ang ‘kilay is life’ at mukhang yun din ang tina-try i.achieve ni Ate Girl to the point na nanglalaban na. Tipong di pa sya galit, mukha nanagad syang galit. Sinubukan kong iwasan na tignan sya kaso may napansin ulit ako. Akala ko may something sa bibig nya pero naka-brace pala sya at medyo hirap i.close yung labi.

Paglampas ng Buting, may sumakay na kakilala nya na kinalabit at kinausap sya. Doon ko nakita yung ngiti nya, ang ganda nya pala. Parang nagliliwanag yung buong mukha nya kapag nakangiti sya, she even have dimples. Confirmed, ‘di bagay yung kilay nya sa kanya. May kamukha syang batang artista ng GMA dati eh kaso di ko na maalala yung pangalan.

Sana next time, she’ll tone down her eyebrows, she’s more beautiful that way.

Naranasan mo na ba?

Naranasan mo na ba na kabisado mo ang sapatos ng mga tao sa paligid mo ng hindi sila tinitignan kasi nag-aalangan kang tignan sila sa mukha?

Naranasan mo na ba na pakiramdam mo palagi kang pinag-uusapan? ‘Yung  para kang takot lagi na baka may nakamasid syo?

Naranasan mo na bang papaniwalain ang sarili mo sa isang bagay para lang maging mas okay ang emotional state mo kasi nasa edge ka na? Continue reading “Naranasan mo na ba?”

Kandila

Kandila

Gaya ng kandilang sinindihan sa dilim, ikaw ay inilalagay sa isang sitwasyon kung saan ka dapat magsabog ng liwanag. Marami mang pagsubok na susubukang patayin ang apoy mo, may mga kamay namang handang salagin ang hangin sa paligid masiguro lang na patuloy kang mag-aalab.

Kung nasaan ka man ngayon sa buhay mo, isipin mo lagi na one way or another ikaw ay nagsisilbing liwanag para sa iba. Napupuno man ng kadiliman ang paligid mo, ang isip o damdamin mo, ‘wag kang mapagod na hanapin at alalahanin ang dahilan ng kung bakit ka nandyan sa lugar na yan at ang dahilan minsan mong pagliwanag.

Dark Days

I’m in that point again where everything is hopeless and useless. Some said it’s postpartum depression, I think it’s just “regular” depression. I had these moods and thoughts since grade school.

Writing and blogging is one of the ways where I release tension. This is where I write whatever I want to say and it’s been a bad habit that  I usually stay away from my blog ’til I’m in my “happy” mood again.  I’ll change that from now on. Anyways, I’ll still be writing stuff and put it in Private.

Hope this ends soon.

Guilt

The other day you said you can’t sleep because you feel guilty. I thought you’re guilty because you’re hurting me, but I was wrong.

You’re guilty because of what you did to her. I don’t really understand that part but I think what you mean to say was you’re guilty because you involved her in whatever plan you have. My heart got pierced and since then, it’s been hurting like hell.

Well, who cares? At least you’re not bored anymore. And at least, after years of numbness, I can finally feel something again eventhough it’s pain.

Hello 2018!

Hello 2018!

Ang ganda ng simula ng 2018 ko 😀

Nung New Year’s Eve, nagka-usap kami nila kuya thru video call sa messenger and we had this picture na kumpleto kaming tatlo 😀

at least kahit sa video call lang nakumpleto kaming tatlo ?

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@mrsacbc) on

 

And here are some pictures while waiting for midnight 🙂

Continue reading “Hello 2018!”