Category: 2032

Ancestry

Ancestry

This is weird. Maybe this already happened to some of you but that was the first time it happened to me.

It happened around seven to eight years ago when I was studying Wicca. I was reading Scott Cunningham’s Spell Craft and one of the simplest crafts there is the “God’s Eye”. I used a pair barbecue sticks and yarns ( purple and blue ). During the time that I am making it, all I think of is “Please show me what I must see”. I started making it in the afternoon after school, then continued ’til before bedtime. Right after I tie it, I suddenly feel exhausted and sleepy. I placed it under my pillow, hoping to get any message through my dream.

A few moments after I lay down, I started dreaming. I am kneeling before a woman in the middle of what looks like a throne/court room in a palace. I am wearing a dress that looks like it’s from 1560-70s. Women of different age, wearing the same style of dress as mine, are standing around me and the woman sitting on the throne is wearing this dress:

I know, that is Elizabeth I, one of the most remarkable monarch who ruled England and Ireland. The exact same dress but the woman that I saw in my dream looks a bit older, and her face looks fuller. That woman was shouting at me because I did something I shouldn’t do and I must leave that place immediately. The women around us are murmuring. Some agreed with her, some said I need to stay. I plead to stay, I was crying when a man wearing something that looks like an armor walked right through the crowd, pulled me on my left arm to help me stand up and said “she’s my wife…(I can’t remember what he said after that)” then we walked away. I saw that that woman sitting on that throne (or maybe it’s a … chair?) is well-known and her name is recorded in every history books (I saw books flipping, all with her photos, but I didn’t read her name). After that, I woke up.

First of all, all of the conversations in that dream are in a foreign language that I never heard of before but somehow I can understand what all of us are saying in that dream.

Second, when I started dreaming, I am already in sleep paralysis (I cannot move, I cannot shout but I am aware that I am dreaming). Another weird thing, I was lying on my bed, on my left side, I can see my room but on the right side, I can see the throne/court room.

I already tried searching online, hoping to see the face of the woman that I saw in that dream. Queen Elizabeth ruled from 1558-1603. I tried searching for other nobles or monarch who lived during that same time but I didn’t find any. Until now, I am still puzzled on why I needed to dream about that. What does it has to do with me? Who is that man (I didn’t get to see his face)? What exactly was happening in that dream?

Dreaming with such fine details doesn’t happen a lot. Nowadays, I rarely dream at all. I do not know if it’s a scene from my past life or … I don’t know. I am still looking for that woman though. C-sections made me forgetful but somehow, I cannot forget that woman’s face.

Memories

Memories

I remember her sitting beside me. Her wavy hair getting in the way for me to see her face clearly. These days, I only remember glimpses of what happened, a snapshot of that certain moment. I remember her smiling. Whatever we’re talking about, it must’ve been about her special someone ’cause she’s blushing a bit.

I can’t really remember where it happened. In the pantry maybe, or in the jeepney we’re riding home. We used to go home together because we’re on the same way but we didn’t do it a lot ’cause I’m afraid of getting attached.

You see, friendship is still a relationship and in every relationship there will always be expectations. I know what I can do for someone, specially for friends, and sometimes that makes me dumb. I hate doing dumb things for worthless people just because of some stupid reason. I’ve been there.

The sad part is I can’t remember the conversations anymore. All I know is we’re so close once that we get to talk about personal things.

She had this reputation with men. A reputation that no woman would like to be attributed to. And it’s not just with one man. There’s several of them. I never believed any of it because I trust her.

I saw how fragile she is though she’s keeping this tough act in front of everyone. She said she doesn’t care about what they’re saying, she knows the truth. She can repeat that all day but I can feel how bothered she is.

That’s one thing I love about her. She knows her weakness and she’s doing what she can to assess herself, to avoid any past mistakes and to improve herself.

It’s been a little more than three years since the last time I saw her and I don’t know if she’s still working in the same industry where we met but wherever she is, I know she’ll bloom in her own way.

Balance of Dark and Light

Balance of Dark and Light

for the nth time

A post shared by arianne balagot cantes (@mrsacbc) on

November 28, I somehow started is ‘journey’ again wherein I focus more on the path (which I haven’t done for the last five years). I want to reconnect to it because for the past three years, I honest feel like I’m lost somewhere and I can’t find the ‘path’.

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Umpisa ng Katapusan

Alas kwatro y media na ng hapon noon. Unang Lunes ng buwan at nakalaan ang oras na iyon para sa aming club meeting. Mula sa mainit na kwarto namin ay lumipat kami sa room ng isang klase sa fourth year. Naka-aircon ito at wala pang mga tao kaya agad kaming nakahanap ni Zhen ng uupuan.

Komportable akong nakaupo noon.  Naka-indian seat pa ako,  kasyang-kasya ako dahil medyo payat pa ako noon.  Isa’t kalahating oras lang ang nakalaan sa club meeting kaya nag-umpisa na agad si Mrs. De Vera.  Home Economics club, voting of officers, activities for first quarter, at marami pang iba.

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