Category: Dark Sides and Rants

Dark Days

I’m in that point again where everything is hopeless and useless. Some said it’s postpartum depression, I think it’s just “regular” depression. I had these moods and thoughts since grade school.

Writing and blogging is one of the ways where I release tension. This is where I write whatever I want to say and it’s been a bad habit that  I usually stay away from my blog ’til I’m in my “happy” mood again.  I’ll change that from now on. Anyways, I’ll still be writing stuff and put it in Private.

Hope this ends soon.

Not So Supportive and Why

Not So Supportive and Why

Alam ko hindi lahat ng tao ay biniyayaan ng supportive na katuwang sa buhay. Actually, bihira na nga makahanap ng supportive na asawa.

Yung tipong bibigyan ka ng reality check pero ipu-push ka pa rin na mag-improve sa mga bagay na gusto mong marating. ‘Yung kahit na nada-down ka na kasi parang walang pinapatunguhan yung mga efforts mo, andyan pa rin sya para sabihin na O.K. lang yan kasi passion mo yan. Sobrang bihira ng yung mga ganyang asawa.

Unfortunately, isa ang asawa ko sa mga HINDI supportive. Kapag may mga gusto akong gawin, he will allow me to do it and when I felt down about it, he will pour all the discouragements. He loves giving reality checks that most often sounds like “you’re doing something hopeless and useless again so you better stop it now”. Just like when I finally had my own domain (which means I’m already spending a bit on my blogging), I asked him to check how my blog looks and if the things that I want to do are possible. His response? “Wala namang magbabasa nyan 😀 “

Continue reading “Not So Supportive and Why”

Dying Before Your Death (Part 1)

Dying Before Your Death (Part 1)

Ever heard of someone saying “This thing happen and I just died”?  The thing is, you see, the process of dying while you’re still alive and healthy doesn’t come in an instant. It doesn’t happen as fast as a snap of your fingers.

It is a collection of small seemingly insignificant instances that builds up through days, weeks, months and even years then one day you’ll feel like you’re doing things without passion, within too much thought and you’ll say to yourself “I don’t feel alive anymore “.

Those thoughts, once you started thinking aboit it, is actually a “make or break” point. Some people would slowly think things over and bring back ‘life’ in their lives. Some wouldn’t mind at first as if he’s still in the denial stage till one day, he would think about the same words and he would finally realize that if he doesn’t help himself, he will slowly be swallowed whole by that emptiness.